the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Randomize
