he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
tell me about the eggs
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
