My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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