I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
