dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
