its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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