someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
