his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
