I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
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