I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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