I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
