We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
