Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
