They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
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