I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
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