I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Randomize
