watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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