Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
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