worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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