dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
