Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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