So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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