come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
