My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
