i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
