some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
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