My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
