You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Randomize
