sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize
