i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
