i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I think my fart just growled at me.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
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