I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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