I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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