Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
