"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Send help, water and tortillas.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I need to wash the frat house off of me
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Randomize
