take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Randomize
