Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
