The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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