Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
