i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I love you.
Bad choice
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
