When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Randomize
