Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
