apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
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