dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I woke up under a house in Key West
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
