I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Randomize
