the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
