12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
