Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
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