He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
wakey wakey hands off snakey
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
