he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
